Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
