thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
