Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
