Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
