So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
