The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize