Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
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The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
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Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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