I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
