It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
