at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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