I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I can't put those talents on a resume
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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