Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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