Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
