So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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