Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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