Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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