i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
