You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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