I think I am morally bankrupt
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
