im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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