Pants 0. Shit 1.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
