i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
