The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I can't turn off my feet"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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