Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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