I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
