Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
