I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
