new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
