he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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