Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
