He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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