So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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