I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize