i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
