i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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