Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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