Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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