I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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