Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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