Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
