What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
