Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
