I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
