It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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