Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
