4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
