You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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