I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
