plz talk dirty to me
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
