he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
