booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
