she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
