Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
