She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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