sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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