can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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