My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
