My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
