First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
